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Sunday, March 27, 2016

The Night


The Night

The night passes You never Night goes quiet You vociferously Night returns You survival In mind Like film without stop Memories of a torture Bitter visualization a reality Night of the gap Comes out Continuous Replication a woman The next cell Shouts Screaming Pleads Help needed I was in the adjacent cell Depending hands Hear her cry I cry with her I ache for her I am with her scream I am incapable incapable That night was over But the nightmare never lets me down.

Kuala Lumpur

Sunday, December 20, 2015

Third World countries

third world countries

How thinking people in third world countries

Seventeen years ago, I had a friend who met him every day after work. We talked together. Hamid was a happy man and witty. I never wasn't tired of companionship with him.

I met him in his shop, he sold PC parts, all from Singapore, was sent by his brother. Every day two to three hours we were talking together. I was happy with him. Because at that time, I was living alone and was boring.

Every evening after closing shop with Hamid to go home by taxi or Hamid's car because I never use the own car in daily work trip. We lived in a neighborhood accidentally. In those days, my mood was not good, but Hamid had a good influence on me. Living alone, was terrible for me but nowadays is more tolerable.

One of those days was very dirty air. It can be said that in Iran, most days of air pollution is higher than normal. But that day the emergency was caused pollution. Schools were closed and the elderly and children were warned not to leave home. The people requested the use of public transport. 

I, as usual, went to the shop Hamid. When I got there, I was very surprised with what I saw. Two sons, Hamid, were playing in the street. Hamid shops in the city center and there was the most polluted part of the city. 

Hamid began to tell how cleverly and intelligently managed to enter the off-limits, and with utmost honor and confidence explained the story. I did not know what to say. I could say nothing. Two children were playing in the most polluted part of the city and at risk while their father spoke so that was incredible.

Without having to say anything, I said goodbye and then never saw Hamid. Hamid had answered my mind a big question. Now everything was quite clear. The difference between the developed countries and the Third World countries, people are like Hamid. Wherever they are in the majority, there is a third world country.

Friday, November 20, 2015


If you are not a refugee now that does not guarantee that you will never be homeless or jobless.  If you have a reasonable job, the luxury of a car and a home, that does not mean that you are rich.

Maybe two thousand years ago when people needed food and someone that gave them food was seen as a savior. But nowadays humans need humanity and respect, even refugees.

Don't think you are better than a refugee who doesn't have citizenship or a bank account bank or a job. Maybe in an equal situation they are possibly more talented, more hard working and respectful but are now living as refugees without any human rights. Of course, you can live as a refugee but the important question is how long can you live in the situation as a refugee

Actually, if you are able to share some of your money for food for refugees that's good. To a refugee that is generous because they have left everything behind them.
In history, we can see how different civilizations have used refugees as slaves. 

Be careful. When you abuse refugees you help them become stronger and you are the real loser. You can save your money but please don't hurt others, especially refugees. Don't try to be a saint, just be yourself and do well for yourself and others. 

We would have a nice world if you respect yourself and others.

Sunday, November 15, 2015

Refugee's Life

Refugee's Life

Nowadays I am very upset. I saw some things that were, in fact, unethical behaviour. It's not personal, but it is societal culture. Stay with me with a real story but not using real names. Some individuals do not have value for others.

Armin is a refugee who lives in Malaysia and is waiting for resettlement.
He went to a school for refugees for an interview one month ago. He showed his CV to the manager and then she said, "Oh you are a professional and over qualified for primary school."

She asked him, "How long have you been here?" He answered, "I have been here nearly five years. I worked for a local company for four years as an engineer."

She asked him again "how much was your salary and why did you leave your job?" He answered, "It was RM6000 and when our manager resigned they started to devalue me and cut my salary."
She told him "Minimum salary is RM 800, but I will give you RM 1000 or maybe more. You can start tomorrow."

He started his work as a teacher in G2 level.
Two weeks later a Pakistani guy went to interview him again and said, "I am a teacher consultant. I read your CV, but I didn't see any work experience as a teacher."

Armin replied, "I think you didn't read my CV carefully because I was a lecturer in a telecommunication university." Pakistani said, "I am a Ph.D. a lecturer in UPM. It's very different to a school. You are a trainee teacher now. I will teach you anything. Your salary as a trainee teacher is RM 500."

Armin said, "But she said something else about my salary and I want to talk with her." Pakistani Said, "I don't know because she asked me to talk with you."

Armin was angry and upset and talked with himself "What do they want to use me? I need money to survive." He accepted RM 500 salary because he needed a job and there are no jobs for refugees. 

One week later the students were invited to visit Sunway University and they organized lunch and fun for the children. Armin and the Pakistani went with the children. At lunch time, the Pakistani and the Egyptian teacher sat with at the table.  The Europian (organizer) sat beside the Pakistani. Suddenly the Pakistani and Egyptian asked him for his phone number and he gave it to them. 

On the way back to school, the Pakistani sat beside Armin on the bus. The Pakistani started kidding with two seven-year-old girls(Armin's students). After a while, he shouted out to them several times, "Shut up".

Armin wanted to talk to the manager, but he thought that would not be effective because they are close partners in the school. Remember that they decided together to devalued him and pay him less.

One week later an American guy brought some food for the children.
After lunch time, Armin and the American guy started a conversation and they connected on Facebook.

After a few minutes, the manager asked Armin "Did you ask the European for some help last week?" Armin replied, " No we just talked about politics because he said he is a politics lecturer but the Pakistani took his number."

Then she left Armin and talked with the American guy in private.
Yesterday they had a trip to the jungle with the students and volunteers.
Armin didn't go because he does not want anyone to control him.
He came to me and asked me to share his story with the public in this blog.

Stay tuned for more on the refugee's life story.

The desire to be free

The desire to be free 
I was 18 years old and wanted to enter university. I wanted to join the college to become the captain of a ship. I was invited to an interview. There were hundreds of people for the interview. The queue moved very fast and stopped one of them who came out to ask what they had been asked. One of them said they asked him his name. Another said that they asked him the time. 
After three hours it was my turn. I took off my glasses and my watch. I knocked very loudly on the door. There was a panel of about 15 people in the interview room. One of them asked me my name. I shouted out my name and was invited into the room. I had checked the time when I went in 10.10am.  Before the interview I had checked up in the newspapers and magazines about ships and the sea and had memorized as much as I could even though I had to read in the shops because I couldn't afford to buy the magazines. 

One of them asked me why I want to become a captain. I told them that I like the ocean and was a man of the ocean whose father gave him many books about the ocean. Then one of them asked me the time. I told them I would check the wind. I looked outside and told them its 10.22. They were surprised. I told them my grandfather had taught me how to tell time from the shadows made by the sun. They asked me what my grandfather had been. I told them he was a shepherd who had taught me in the summer about the sun and how to tell the time. This was their longest interview for the morning. 

Then they asked me what I would do if I was on the ship and the family called to ask me to leave the ship because my father has 10 hours to live. I would call the office to ask for permission. Then they said what if it is a public holiday and no one is in the office. I said that I would not leave the ship.  The men on the panel said that I should jump. They were all shouting at me that I should jump into the sea. I shouted that I would not jump into the sea because of the sharks and I am afraid of sharks. If I jump into the water then I would not reach the shore. The men on the panel all laughed at me.  I told them that I would need a helicopter to reach my father in time. Each of them stood up and shook my hand and told me that I was accepted for the medical check up.  

I went and passed every test. The last test was for eye sight. I memorized the eye test chart and knew the sequence upwards and backwards over a few days.  
I watched them test the person before me. The person had to name different pictures. I memorized the words in each page. When it was my turn the phone rang and she answered the phone and was playing and spinning the book. She opened the book from behind and I didn't know.    

The test was for colour blindness and the pictures were in different colored circles. I could not see the pictures because I was colour blind. I gave all the answers but of course they were incorrect. I did not know that I was colour blind.   

She called the doctor to test me again. The doctor used the eye chart to test me. I had memorized the chart. My eye sight is weak. She told me that me eyes are amazingly good. I had missed one of the lines and that gave me away. I was desperate to get into the college. 

She told me that it would be too dangerous to be a captain of a ship if I was colour blind since I would have many people's lives in my hands as the captain of a ship. After a few months they invited me to study to become an engineer on a ship. 
In the interview you were asked ideological questions about Sharia, the Koran and other similar questions. I grew a beard before the next interview. I dressed like a very religious person. 

While I was sitting there a man came out and saw me and asked why I was sitting in the queue. I told him that I had come for the interview. He told me that because I had been in the war that I should come in and eat and I waited there for four hours. The boss came to interview me. 

He asked me a lot of question about religion. He asked if I was married. I said I wasn't because I was only 18 years old. He asked if I had gone to war and I said no my mother didn't allow it. Then they asked again if I am married, I told them I am only 18 and don't yet have a job to take care of a wife. He kept asking the same question. 

I asked him if he has a sister. He asked why. I told him then if he has a sister I could get married to her. He became angry. He said you didn't yet see my sister. I told him that he is a good looking man so his sister must be beautiful too. He shouted at me and chased me out of the room. 

It was important that I be married because the training was in Belgium. They feared that the men would not return to Iran after the training but if they were married then they would have to come back to Iran.  I left and went to shave my face then went back. I told them that this is the real me and that I don't want to join them. I decided that I want to be free. 

Friday, November 13, 2015



Middle-aged means the remaining half of my life to the best use it.

Time for analyzing the mistakes and find a new way to live.
Starting again unconditionally, pick up the backpack of experiences and learned then go on an endless journey to find new.

Moving again and savor the taste of life.
Flying into the unknown without whatever has earned, going towards infinity.

Every day I look in the mirror I saying remained half of my life.

Breaking the dependence and floating in the river's life.
Terrible does not make sense more even starvation has owned taste.

Rip chains decay beliefs and swimming in the beach reach to the sea.

Understand what hitherto been obscure.
Sitting beside the raceway and teach to child labor the alphabet.

Having enough time to living, not survive.
Middle-aged only a backpack full of candy that gives to the children.

Wednesday, October 14, 2015



The behaviour of the people in every country, reflects the behaviour of the government of that country. 
These days people's behavior is a template for the bullying powers because the rulers of the country have came out of the majority of people.  

Kuala Lumpur


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